Physical self-examination is much more fun

So, whenever one of my friends would start dating someone I'd get this... bizarre feeling. Bizarre and entirely unpleasant. And for the longest time I've struggled with what the hell it is exactly. I think I finally figured it out.

You see, the most obvious explanation to me was jealousy. This is more for another blog for another time, but, long story short [and with some helpful alliteration], I fall for folk fairly fast. But, jealousy's never sounded correct to me. I mean, I'm a jealous son of a bitch, don't get me wrong, but this is a different feeling entirely. What else could it be, though? I think I finally figured it out.

I've realized it's not jealousy; rather, I'm over-protective. It's a feeling of worry, which I should have recognized all along considering I worry so often.

There have been instances where it is, in fact, jealousy, of course. But it's not jealousy every single time and with every single person. And it's not entirely jealousy even when I am feeling envious. I worry a lot. And I hate seeing my friends get hurt. And when they enter into an intimate relationship with some man or woman I don't know at all I immediately worry for their well-being. This other person is an unknown, to me at least, and they're opening themselves to them. And my mind likes to come up with worst possible scenarios first.

So... I'm a little less shitty than I thought.

Thank you for joining me on this insight inside my mind. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop, then depart in an orderly manner.