Not teenage, not mutant, but definitely a ninja turtle.

So, I'm on my way home today, just drivin' along. I come upon a big turtle in the middle of my lane, so y'know, I position the car so as to drive over him, between my wheels, as opposed to veering into oncoming traffic or straight-up rolling over the turtle. But, as we're driving over it, I hear a distinct THUNK! from under the vehicle, and my mother, who's riding in the passenger seat, says "Did you just hit the turtle?!" To which I replied, "No, I fucking drove over him. Maybe his shell hit against the underside of the car."

We decided to return and check on the welfare of this turtle. So, we walk along the shoulder of the road up to him [and he was a big son of a bitch snapping turtle, not some little cutesy thing] and the little fucker is snapping at cars going by in the other lane! XD At this point, people are noticing us in the street with this turtle, and they're stopping to look and comment before driving on. Oh, and would you like to know what that THUNK! was? Well, another car drives over him while we were standing there deciding what to do, and the turtle whips his head up at the car driving over him tryin' to bite it, smacking his head against the underside of it in the process. XDD So... yeah, big, angry ninja turtle.

Happy ending, though, a nice lady and a nice, albeit kind o' weird, older gentleman stopped and got out of their cars to help, aussi. We eventually pushed the little thing to the other side of the guard rail by the road, but, he was not happy about his lot in life, let me tell you. He was snapping and tryin' to get folk, grabbing and chewing up the sticks we were using to prod him to the side ['cause, I dunno about y'all, but, I like fingers right where they are, and homie turtle there could have bitten at least one clean off]. We could have grabbed his tail, but, he wouldn't let us get behind him, he kept circlin' to face off against us, and if one distracted him while another person went to the backside to grab his tail, this smart turtle would wrap it up tight against his body so you couldn't grab it.

So, yeah... whee, saved a pissed off turtle. Or, alternatively, I saved some cars passing by from a pissed off turtle. XDD