Mini-Reviews 09

Rambo-- Decent movie. Great action film. Light on the plot, but brutal. Very brutal, in fact, it's quite graphic with how the pillaging, rape, and murder taking place in the country. Be aware of that, going in.


Prom Night [1980]-- It's not bad. Slow in the beginning, not to mention that it makes very little sense, but, it does start to pick up. The ending has a decent twist, though. I guess it's supposed to be a slasher, but, there's not really much slashing going on in the film. So, with that in mind, the film's a typical early 80's thriller. With disco! If you dig that kind o' stuff, you've probably already seen it. If you don't, it's really not worth your time to see it now, 28 years later.


Prom Night [2008]-- This really has almost nothing to do with the 1980 film of the same name. Was this supposed to be a remake? There's the basic premise of people being murdered at prom, and that there are three women who are friends, and one woman who is at odds with the three. And that's where the similarities in story pretty much end. It's an okay film, straight-up slasher that tries to be a thriller by showing the violence off-camera, but, there's a cute as hell lead actress and enough plot to at least be legitimately called a film, which screams "slasher flick". I watched the theatrical cut, so, I dunno how gorey the unrated cut is. But this one leaves a lot to the imagination with the majority of the violence done off-camera. A slasher film without much slashing can get pretty boring. Hey, actually, that's one more thing it has in common with the 1980 film!

Holy eff, a new vid.

For realsy, yo. I wouldn't get too used to the idea of me doing more vids just yet, as I hate the way the mic on my webcam sounds. But I didn't want to wait a long time to do a vid response to Adam.

Mini-Reviews 08

Just a couple new movies this week.


The Invasion-- I liked the movie, all except for the editting decision where they show the before and after, cutting in between the two. It can be a little confusing, and I just don't think it was a good idea at all. It only happens three or four times, though. Unfortunately, Nicole Kidman kind o' looks like she's had a fair amount of plastic surgery. :( I could easily be wrong, but, it looks it to me. She's definitely had breast augmentation done. It's honestly kind of distracting [in its entirety, not just her boobs =P]. It's an all right movie, if you can deal with those two things, though.


Live Free or Die Hard-- Great action movie, fantastic cast. What more is there to be said?

Uh oh, here he comes...

So, I can't shake the feeling that most of my friends are avoiding me as of late. I dunno what it is, maybe they've just realized how much I suck. They're always just about to leave, or busy, or simply never return a phone call. *sigh*

I know I'm paranoid. I know I'm insecure. Knowing these things doesn't help shake my suspicions much. I also understand that I've a relatively mild case of arachnophobia... doesn't make me any less scared of spiders.

Ladies! Your boobs and vaginas are fine!

Ugh, I am so sick of fake boobs, botox, vaginal rejuva-fucking-nation, seriously, what the fuck?!

Ladies and gentlemen, but most importantly ladies... STOP. No more elective plastic surgery. It's sickening. So you're rockin' A-cups, eh? So rock 'em like they're hot! Don't get sacks of silicone stuffed under your flesh. Got some wrinkles around your eyes, on your forehead? Fuckin' live with it, don't inject poison into your face! Think your lips are too thin? You're a fuckin' idiot, stop whining and obsessing over your appearance so much that you feel the need to have someone inject collagen into your lips! UGH!

Mini-Reviews 07

Ugh, sorry it's late, I suck. And, I have illusions of grandeur and seem to think there's even people waiting to read these for me to apologize to. And I end my sentences with prepositions... go me!



Doomsday-- Not that I'm necessarily complaining, but, why are post-apocalyptic societies all about the funky haircuts, dyed hair, and tattoos? I mean, really? Good movie, though, I enjoyed it very much. Hella gorey, but, I was watching the unrated version. Character development's not present much, and I didn't find myself with any real attachment to the people who die, but, who cares! Rawr rawr, blood and violence! That seems to be what this movie's basically about; action and violence. Enjoy it for what it is.


The Planet-- B-rate sci-fi film from Britain! Sounds Scottish, but, I'm an ignorant American so I could be wrong. Either way, it's not too great. Acting's good enough, for a B-film. The CG and sound effects seem like they belong in an old Dreamcast or Playstation vidgame cutscene. And sometimes worse. Fairly short film, as well, at about an hour and ten minutes. The story's well enough, I suppose, but there's a shortage of explanation and conclusions. Right up to the end, which made no sense.


Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay-- If you enjoyed Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, you'll probably enjoy this. If you didn't... you won't. Funny as hell, though it managed to be more vulgar [the unrated cut, anyway]. Just a heads up for anyone who'd care.


Lost Boys: The Tribe-- Did Feldman's voice actually get worse over the years? First and foremost, it's not fair to compare this movie to the first Lost Boys. They're two separate films from two different points in time. But, I'm going to, anyway. (^_^) Several things are straight-up over-the-top about this film. And Angus Sutherland's acting is a little... much. And the decision to use demonic voices for the vampires is wicked annoying. Maybe I'm just remembering the first film incorrectly, but, this one seems a little more about the gore, particularly fake intestines, but, that's not necessarily bad, right? Anyway, it's not an entirely bad film, but, it's not that great, either. Even if you don't compare it to the first film. Haim's cameo's cool, though.


Never Back Down-- Kind of an odd mix of MMA [Mixed Martial Arts] and a teen movie. Kind of has a Karate Kid feel to it, but, I don't think it'll be quite as iconic, haha. It's not bad, I suppose, but it ain't that great, either. Djimon Hounsou is awesome, of course. And Sean Faris does well enough. The fights are really cool, easily the best parts of the film. If fighting isn't your thing, well, this obviously isn't the film for you. The soundtrack fuckin' sucked, though, ugh. Just about every song was awful.

Mini-Reviews 06

Bone Eater-- Not good. More boring than anything else. Decent enough acting for the most part and the Bone Eater looks cool, but, not scary, and the animations for his movement are laughable. It looks like they animated him to be a puppet or something. Also, I'm not an expert on Native American mythology, but, I don't recall the Bone Eater being so malignant. He just ushered the dead along to the afterlife [I think, I'm a little fuzzy on the details].


Numb-- Lynn Collins is a delightful actress [and hot] and Matthew Perry is at his finest in this film, quite possibly my favorite role of his I've seen. Wonderful film, I love it.


Timber Falls-- Fairly typical and cliché thriller/slasher fare. Creepy locals, false scares, sexy sex scene, misleads, fanatical religious folk... but, as a fan of slasher films, I enjoyed it and recommend it for any other slasher fans. (^_^) Great acting, good story, just don't expect anything innovative. Be prepared to know exactly what's comin', haha.


Monster High-- Cheesy comedy "horror" film about the end of the world being decided by a basketball game. Fairly entertaining.


The Air I Breathe-- Much like Crash, the film's a collection of vignettes that are all interconnected. Instead of having a central theme of racism, the central theme of these stories is about finding happiness in life and the troubles people go through to find it. Star-studded cast, I'd say it's definitely worth seeing, if only to see the character Brendan Fraser plays. I was skeptical at first, because I just don't see him in darker, tough guy roles, but, he does a great job.


The Messengers-- Fine enough, I suppose, though there's plenty I didn't like about it. At least one of the two twins who played little Ben was a phenomanal actor and there were some genuinely creepy parts. But overall, there's just too much I disliked and too much I questioned. The seemingly random inclusion of crows annoyed me, I just don't find blackbirds inherently terrifying. And some of the scenes were cut far longer than I feel they needed to be. I can only assume they were supposed to be dragging out the suspense, but, it just irritated me. My dislike of the film is nigh solely based on my personal preference, though, it's a well-made film otherwise.

Mini-Reviews 05

I'm runnin' a little late with this one...


Hack!-- Decent acting, nice gore, interesting story-line though mildly predictable with a twist or two, and funny at certain points. Audio quality gets a little wonky sometimes, though, and everything'll sound tinny for no discernible reason. I dunno if it's just the copy of the DVD I watched or what. I found it entertaining, though. It's worth a rent, I'd say.


Day Zero-- Excellent film. I enjoy the story arcs and seeing how the news that they've been drafted to war just destroys a couple of the characters. Elijah Wood's character in particular, to me, is the most interesting.

Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem-- It's an okay film, I guess. Not terribly good, though. It could have definitely used some better lighting. I get it, dark and gritty, but, that was just ridiculous, you can barely see a lot of the time. It feels extremely rushed for a lot of it, as well. Up until, like, the last 20 minutes. The predalien's still wicked cool.


Undead or Alive-- A self-proclaimed "zombedy". It's pretty funny. Morbid ending to both story-lines. Interesting seeing Chris Kattan in a film again, anyhow. And Navi Rawat is hot. (^_^) Special effects kind o' sucked, though, particularly at the end. The whip sound effect every time it cut back and forth from the town was unnecessary, too. Hell, the whole side-story with the Padre seemed entirely useless to the rest of the film. Just made it longer. But don't miss the bloopers during the credits!


P2-- Very good movie. Typical thriller fare, but, what's wrong with that? And, it's well executed. Except the taser bit. Shocking you in the side isn't likely to knock you out, I don't think. Wes Bentley was awesome, as always.


First Sunday-- S'all right. Not terribly funny, but, has its moments. Kind of an uninspired script, as well. But, it's the least irritating performance I've seen of Katt Williams, so, that's a plus. It's not bad.


Sex and Breakfast-- Another all right movie. It's interesting seeing the problems the two couples are having and how the "therapy" affects them differently in the end. Anyone else ever look at Macaulay Culkin and think he's older than 13 or 14? He always looks like a kid pretending to be an adult to me.


Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer-- I try to watch a comic book movie without thinking about the things that will be changed. Some things just don't work as well in film as they do in the comics. I understand that. But some things are changed so arbitrarily in both the first film and this sequel that it just annoys the shit out of me, and I'm not even a huge fan of the Silver Surfer and even less of the Fantastic Four. It's an all right superhero movie, though, if you're not familiar with the comics at all. Anticlimactic end, though.


Sleepwalking-- Very good film. AnnaSophia Robb is a delightful young actress, Dennis Hopper is always cool and always plays a good bad guy, Nick Stahl does a terrific job, and the rest of the cast ain't exactly slouches. Very tragic story, but it has its lighthearted, feel-good moments.


Die Hard 2-- Yeah, I know, I'm nearly 20 years late to the party. I liked the first one better, I think Bruce Willis' performance was stronger in the first one. Beyond that, some cool explosions, some twists here and there in an interesting plot that's quite similar to the first one in structure. The movie came out in 1990 [I think], you should know by now what it's like, haha.