Short couple steps onto memory lane

For the past few years, I've been desperately trying to remember the title of a vidgame I played a lot whenever I hung out with my dad when I was younger. I finally found a good list of titles, because I was fairly confident that if I saw the title, I'd remember. I was right, and I did. (^______^)

That game is Strahl. Just to be sure, I checked out some screen shots, but all I needed to see was the cover art, cause I remember that big white snake demon thing. Fuckin' amazing game [as I recall, it could just be nostalgia speaking, I'll let you know once I find a way to play it again].

In the same vein, I stumbled across another title on that list that I immediately recognized, Brain Dead 13. Pretty amusing game.

Gifts of 2007

Watch.

Best 90's rap album of 2007

Easily the best one. I'm really loving this album [and the aforementioned physical size of the album]. It makes me think of older-school rap, which is awesome cause I miss those days, y'know? Other than that, I don't have a whole lot to say, 'sides it was five bucks well spent.

Best tracks, over-all, "Hip-Hop Culture". I agree with the lyrics, the beat's great, and the vox sound top-notch. "Ghetto Workout" is a close second, though, it's only lacking a slight bit in the way it sounds. Which is to say, I just prefer the way "Hip-Hop Culture" sounds.

Worst track? Hmm... I suppose "High King". Only reason being that after, like, eight albums from Kottonmouth Kings, I'm just blasé to drug songs, anymore. Sounds hella cool, though. Also, the first 23 seconds of "Cook The Party Up", that music drives me nuts. It's not bad for the chorus, cause it sounds less prevalent and more tucked in amongst the other noise, but, that intro... extremely minor complaint, though.

By the way, did I mention the disc is so small and cute? (^_^)

Forthcoming

Finally got my Crack Diamond EP, and it's a cute li'l disc. (^_^) I'll post up a blog with my thoughts once I've sat and given it a listen.

Oh, hey, that's right

I've one of these here blogger thingers.

New Tebo Production vid.

If you don't like it, take up complaints with Tebo. =Þ His song choice, his idea, I just held a camera for this one.

Critters

New vidlog. That is all.

Quite the hairy subject, neh?

[[Raggedy Angry - "Gangsta's Paradise"]]

So, I'm bored, I have a blog, and some things I feel like talking about.

First and foremost, BUSH. Let's chat about it, hm?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is for both of you... stop shaving your bush. Seriously. I don't know why it became acceptable, let alone popular, to have your vagina or penis completely bald. Stop it. Now, I don't mean let it grow free; like any hair, it requires maintenance, so give it the time and trimming it deserves, but when you shave it all off, you look like you're prepubescent. So, if you've a significant other who wants you to go bald, or likes that you go bald, consider the idea that they might be into pedophilia. Just sayin', y'know?

So, next on my list of things to talk about.

Masturbation.

[[Dave Matthews Band - "The Space Between"]]

Why is masturbation a taboo subject? Why are people afraid to admit that they do? Why do middle school boys tease each other about it? I don't get you, humanity! I'll be the first to tell you, I masturbate. Though, not as much as I did when I was younger, whoo boy. I dunno how I ever found the time to leave the house. Anyway, that's not what's important, what's important is that it's a release, and it feels damned good. There's nothing wrong with it, despite what religions may want to make you think.

[[Twiztid - "Darkness"]]

Further along this line of thinking, why does talking about sex make some people uncomfortable? It's one of my favorite subjects. Surely the act of sex doesn't bother you, so why does talking about it embarrass you? And then people wonder why men, and women, sometimes don't have a clue what they're doing. Cause nobody'll kick it and chat with them about it! Another fun activity who's subject is too taboo for discussion. What the hell?

[[D12 - "Fight Music"]]

And it's not like I'm the only one curious about this stuff. Y'know what one of my favorite shows is? Real Sex 101. Y'ever see it? It's on late nights on HBO. it explores a variety of subjects, such as swingers, the popularity of glass dildos, erotic electrical shocking [quite the interesting one, actually], etc., etc. I love that show. One of my favorite new shows? Katie Morgan's Porn 101. [Speaking of too much shaving..] It's only had one episode so far, but it's intriguing. It involved a look back at pornography over the years. Old, old, old-school porn. Silent-film porn, no shit.

[[Jack Off Jill - "Super Sadist"]]

Anyway, like I was saying, I can't be the only one curious about this subject, look at the television shows that explore it and divulge information about it, most of the time in a non-erotic way [unless you mute it and pause it when they're showing naughty bits, but why would ya do that, ya sicko perv!!].

[[SlipKnoT - "The Nameless [Live]"]]

So, let's see, what else do I wanna talk about while I've got your attention... or do I wanna just end it there? Is this going on too long, do you think? Ok, ok, I get it, I'm done for now.

As awkward as the spelling of "awkward"

Awkward is a funny word, when you look at it.

Anyway, here we go.

New song? LIES!

No no, it's true! I teamed up with the every lovely Dally Doll and threw down some shit over her lovely piano piece, and by association lowering the quality of her piece and increasing the quality of mine, made a new song entitled "Forgive Me"!

You can hear it on either the Modern Day Cassandra or the sXc MySpace.

And, because the quality sucks when downloading from MySpace, look at that!

Vblog? How the hell is that pronounced?

So, I'm thinkin' o' startin' one o' them vidblog things, if for no better reason than I've nothing better to do.

Thoughts?

Whoa! Holy updates!

Out of nowhere, I felt incredibly productive today. I had several quiet hours, so, I recorded most of the sXc EP today. At this point, there is only the amazing, bonus, non-spoken-and-instead-sung track and final vocal touches on "Shut up!", more on that in a moment, then to mix it, tag it, and do an album cover. I'll probably end up releasing it before I get the album cover done, though. Also, I'm thinkin' o' changin' the title again, I'm not sure to what yet.

Now, then, an update on the fantabulous new vision for "Shut up!". I'm gunnin' for six people, one of which has completed his lines [and every other line, to boot, so's I can take my pick (^_^)], two people plannin' on doin' it, two people who haven't responded yet, and a sixth whom I haven't asked yet. To be honest, I'm still debating who the sixth ought to be, but, I've some ideas.

Not to mention, in my productive mode, I finished a brand new [cover] song, which I've already blogged about today. I dunno why I'm in this mood, but, I hope it lasts, cause there's so much shit I'd like to get done and out of the way.

Who loves carbohydrates?!

I Like Fucking Toast, a very special cover of a now defunct band. (^_^)

I told you I'd eventually get it done, Mr. Grape!

By the by, watch the volume level, might just be my shitty speakers, but, the high register made mine buzz a few times.

People be damned

It's sometimes asked of me why I hate people, collectively, as much as I do. Every now and again, people do something, and I can show examples. Here's the most recent example, taken from the Associated Press website.



"WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- Three teenagers charged in the gang rape and beating of a woman and her son have been linked to the crime by DNA, authorities said.

DNA from suspects Tommy Lee Poindexter and Nathan Walker Jr. was found on the woman's dress, according to an analysis by the Palm Beach County Crime Laboratory, released in documents Thursday. DNA from Avion Lawson also was found on a condom left at the scene, according to the documents.

Poindexter, 18, Walker, 17, and Lawson, 14, face charges including sexual battery, kidnapping and burglary. A fourth suspect, Jakaris Taylor, 16, has been previously linked to the crime through fingerprints, police said.

All face life sentences if convicted.

The woman told police that as many as 10 masked teens accosted her and her 12-year-old son in their apartment on June 18. The teens are accused of raping and sodomizing the mother, forcing mother and son to have sex with each other and beating both of them.

The suspects then doused them with cleaning solutions in an attempt to destroy evidence, police said."

What the fuck would prompt one person, let a lone a group of people, to do something like that? WHAT THE FUCK?

ADDENDUM: Whee, more fuckin' idiots. Again, from the AP.


"MOUNT VERNON, N.Y. (AP) -- A security guard died a day after being shot in the head and chest while trying to stop Halloween revelers from throwing eggs.

Neville Webb, 52, of White Plains, died Thursday night at a New York City hospital, where he was taken in extremely critical condition following the gunfire in Mount Vernon north of the city, said Police Commissioner David Chong.

Webb, a former correction officer, went out to break up a group of young men who were throwing eggs at cars and people on Halloween night, Chong said.

"When he went out to stop them it appears that one individual shot him," the commissioner said after the shooting. "This poor security guard was just doing his job."

He said police had some leads to follow in the search for the shooter. No arrests had been made early Friday."

Holy shit! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Why the fuck do I bother to read the fucking news, all it does is piss me the fuck off. AUGH.

Guess what I just SAW

Did you see Saw IV today? WHY NOT?! It's fuckin' awesome!

(-_-)

Gabrielle died today.

For the sake of one

Nothing new to report, really! Working on some things for Twon, watchin' some movies, playin' some vidgames. Still don't have a gods damned job, still don't have my gods damned Xbox 360 back, which is annoying, since Guitar Hero III comes out on the 28th, and I probably won't have it back by then. Which means my pre-ordered copy of the game is just gonna sit there 'til the box is fixed and sent back to me.

Um... I have a headache at the moment, how's that? I really don't know what to post about.

With all this free time, though, I've got lots more time to just sit and think, I'll tell ya.

It's so fuckin' adorable

Once a week-ish?

So, I'm awful at this blog updating thing, huh?

I just never have anything worth blogging about, or if I do, I don't think "Oh, hey, something I could actually put in this blog" until it's already old news. Did I mention that I never have anything worth blogging about? I'm one of the most boorish people alive, I'm telling you. And it doesn't speak highly of you that you're reading this right now, either.

So, uh... sorry to anyone who cares.

Dead and dying

My Xbox 360 died yesterday. Now I've gotta wait for a month or more before I can play the game I bought yesterday. UGH.

In other news, I do nothing, because I am a failure. I have yet to start looking for a job because apparently I don't give a damn, I haven't done much new musically 'sides something for the RFP compilation [which makes me ecstatic, it's a very good song, albeit a sad one] because I really don't know what to do. Though there's an interesting new something sort of in the works for Twon. Hopefully done by Halloween, but, with a shitty-ass vocalist like me on the project, who knows.

I dunno what the hell I'm doing.

So much

There is so much I want to do with my music, but I lack the connections and the capabilities to make the shit happen.

AND, I'm getting sick, and nasal congestion can make recording anything huge pain in the ass. (>_<)

As if I have anything new to record. Ugh, I suck.

Why am I better at...

Why am I better at being a friend rather than a boyfriend?

I've recently come to that conclusion. Anybody have any idea why the fuck that is? What is it I do or don't do that puts me onto this side o' the line as opposed to that side?

Seriously, this wouldn't be a problem if all the people I knew weren't all too shy, or too whatever to be ok with just havin' sex without necessarily being committed to a long-term relationship with that person. But they're all too "Oh, I can't do that. Sex is too important, and should only be shared with someone you truly love." Bullshiiiiiit, honey. Sex is nature, lifelong union rarely is.

Y'ever heard o' the seven-year-itch? It's after about seven years of being with someone after having had a child, a man or woman has urges to leave all that and move on to someone else. That's nature sayin' "Ok, this offspring is grown enough to be able to fend for itself in the wild, NEXT MATE".

In truth, I'm tired, but hyper, and in the mood to ramble. Which is precisely why this blog exists, after all! So, hope you enjoyed it!

Copy and pasted from the Twon bulletin I posted, cause I'm lazy

Finally, the release I thought may never see the light of day.

Best of VFlaw: Goodbye.

23 tracks from a variety of great artists such as ©opyright Death, Sexcopter Rul, The Grape Kool-Aid Experience, and many, many more. Not to mention, of course, the amazing sound of d3vdz of Eat Babies? and Sixty X Celph that is Twon, plus two more tracks with sXc featured (and, I must say, they're some of my favorite songs that I've done) and an Eat Babies? track featuring Mike Diva. With so much great material on it, how can you go wrong?

So download it now and give it a listen, there probably won't be another VFlaw.Net compilation, as roleModel, one of the admins of the forum, has ostensibly destroyed his own creation. He got too big for his proverbial britches.


1. New Years Revolution - Revival
2. Vyncent Flaw - Kiss from a Rose
3. Unfazed - BTP Feat. Sixty X Celph
4. ©opyright Death - Phantomind
5. Sexcopter Rul - Cieve
6. x0dus - Forbidden Law
7. The Grape Kool-Aid Experience - Inappropriately
8. Just Like Ammy - Can't take the tedium
9. Just Like Ammy / Dan Clark - Buzz Crack
10. Dolphin Strangler - Blow Hole Feat. Poop
11. gayxxxl - Hay TK Ovar Here
12. Eat Babies? - My Spanish Trainer feat. Mike Diva
13. Raggedy Angry - King of the Electro World
14. Just Like Ammy - Promise to please
15. picnicwithzombies - Lil' whore bustin'
16. Twon - Three-Way w/ d3vdz and Mr. Grape
17. gayxxxl - Should Have Been a Punk
18. Ninpiggy18 - Terri
19. Unfazed - Ordination
20. Phantom Lolita - Untitled
21. Dan Clark - Trilla
22. Kapow - No Chance feat. Sixty X Celph
23. Pumpkinheads - VFLAW.NET

Shitfuck

Shit... to the fuck.

I need to start lookin' for another job, which sucks.

Jus Between Us

For anyone who remembers or cares, Just Between Us, the sXc album, is back in progress!

Unfortunately, I waited too long to actually record anything. That means that, like always when I do that, I've scrapped most of the material because I find problem after problem with it.

But, no worries! New and better things are being written and planned!

So, rejoice!

Heaven Loss

Anyone who reads this remember Heaven Loss? Little musical project I was in, had a couple songs? Haven't really heard much from it recently?

Well, there is a reason for that, now!

It seems that I am in need of musicians for this project, now.

Any o' y'all interested? Know of someone who might be interested? I really liked Heaven Loss, and I'd rather now see it fade away.

Just out of curiosity

cameron clarke. Last I knew, you don't like me. Why, then, do you read and comment on this blog?

"Man's inhumanity to man"

Why do people suck?

Guess it's time to start again.

All while I was a kid, I was told how bright I was. Whether it was truth, or, it was just the bullshit they feed kids to make them feel better about themselves, I strove to be brilliant. I started reading constantly, and reading books beyond my "level", apparently. I did all my homework, did the best I could on tests, started writing short stories on my own, anything I could think of to maintain this image of a bright child. Whee for living up to expectations. Ultimately, I failed, and dropped out of high school. Turns out I'm not as bright as expected.

Now, I'm told something else again and again, something new and unexpected, albeit less often and by a smaller number of people. I'm told that I'm a good singer, and I have a pleasant voice. Farce? I believe so. But, I'm told it again and again, and recently, I've begun to feel the urge to try to live up to that expectation and become a great, well-renowned singer. Destined for failure? Don't ask me that, for it is not a positive response.

Why do I use that face so much?

I've noticed that I keep using (>_<) this particular smiley a lot lately. Indicative of anything, ya think?

All today

All I can keep thinking of is how long it's been since I've fucked. HOW SAD IS THAT?

Not to mention, who the hell am I gonna talk to about that. Nobody but me gives two shits. (>_<)

(>_<)

Nothing quite like being a gods damned annoyance.

I'm going to bed where, with any luck, I shall suck less!

Tomorrow

Not so good a start as yesterday... hopefully the day'll get better.

Today

Has been a good day so far. Hell if I know why, but, I woke up in a good mood, and... it's just been a good day. Nothing good happened, even, I'm just in a good mood.

Fuck you

Fuck you if you think I am the way I am just for "shock value".

My take on the new KoRn album

WHOOOO!

My only complaint is that they could have been bothered to think up an album title, methinks. (>_>) *cough*

But, when that's the only complaint one can muster, that's a damned good album! Or extreme fandom, you're choice.

Anyway, I enjoy it immensely. As usual, this album sounds very different from their other albums. And, despite being a trio, they pull through with an awesome album thanks to drummers like Terry Bozio, a drumming god, Brooks Wackerman, and even Jonathan Davis doing percussion on some of the tracks.

I, being the possibly obsessed KoRn fan I am, pre-ordered the super special bonus package edition, receiving a bad-ass t-shirt along with the deluxe edition of the album with a bonus DVD, which contains a delightfully insightful look into the making of the album. That was a hella long sentence, neh?

I really enjoy the first single from the album, released ages ago, "Evolution", but other than that, some of my favorite tracks from the album would be "Ever Be", which is one of two stabs at former guitarist Head that appear on the album, "Bitch We Got A Problem", and "Sing Sorrow", a bonus track on that aforementioned deluxe edition I pre-ordered.

I just don't know what else to say... go buy this shit, right now. It's fuckin' awesome.

Finally!

The planets aligned and, for one glorious instance, everything in life went right. In that moment, I held a Wii console at GameStop. I paid, I left, I came home... four or five hours later, here I am! Rejoice, for I am Wii-less no longer!

ROCK THE MOTHERFUCK ON!

Three trains of thought, one blog posting

Why can't I just write something fun and light? Why does everything I write have to be serious, intense, emo, and/or angry? Why?!

The closest I've gotten to writing anything fun that didn't suck was "Three-Way", y'know, the song with devvie and Mr. Grape that's supposed to come out on the VFlaw.Net compilation album? Eventually. Anyway, that was the closest I've gotten. And even that was still serious-sounding and intense-ish.

I suppose, "For The Members At VFlaw Dot Net" was kind of ok, but the beat was crap. Just about the simplest beat for a rap song ever. But, it's still better than that a cappella pile o' crap "The Lighter Side Of Self-Deprecation". *shudder* Anyway, yeah... tie-in!


----


Today, my thoughts have been so scattered and bi-polar. And that's okay, when my thoughts are scattered, I end up writing some of my best material for some reason. But, the odd thing is the bi-polarity. I wrote two poems, at the same time, about opposite subject matters. Like, I literally wrote them at the same time, I'd write a couple lines in one, be struck with an idea for the other, and write it down, and then repeat that process back and forth. ABOUT OPPOSITE CONCEPTS! One's about how I don't want to do anything, and the other's about what I'm trying to accomplish... (>_<) Double-you tee motherfucking eff?!


----


My insomnia's getting worse. I hate sleeping.

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like I have no real friends anymore. (-_-)


Sometimes I... I touch myself. Inappropriately. (^_~)


Sometimes I wonder what would happen were I to die. (>_>)


Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to kill. (<_<)


Sometimes I consider conforming and resigning to a passionless life. (>_<)


Sometimes I want to be left alone. (-_-)


Sometimes I just want someone to be there with me. (>_<)


Sometimes I feel like everything I do and say is irritating. (-_-)


Sometimes I scream. (>_<)


Sometimes I just plain think.

Monster Energy Drink

It sucks. It sucked when I tried it years ago when it was still new, and it sucked only marginally less today. Bear that in mind when making your energy drink purchases.

And, while we're on the subject of energy drinks, when the fuck did they start making alcoholic energy drinks? I stumbled across an empty can of orange-flavored malt liquor beverage energy drink. What the fuck? I can't imagine it's healthy to mix a depressant and a stimulant, I just can't.

It's All Bullshit, Y'know.

It's 2:44 a.m. as I type this, and I'm tired. So, if I begin to ramble or repeat myself... it's 'cause it's that time o' the morning. But, as I lay in my bed in the dark, tossing and turning, trying to will the insomnia away, I do what I always do: I thought.

I pondered, I considered, I examined, and I realized.

I pondered on the fact that it's been days since I've had contact, real contact, with any of the few friends I have left. I haven't seen them in more than passing, or spent time with them, talked with them, simply hung out with them.

I considered the fact that, until earlier today, I hadn't really made any attempt to contact them.

I examined my life, examined where I've been, and the path that led me to the point in life I am at.

And, finally, I realized, though not for the first time, that I am going nowhere. A new realization, though, is that I'm coming to accept this as fact. I'm coming to terms, and almost becoming content, with fading to oblivion. With disappearing. With ceasing. Now, this might be passed off as teenage-angst bullshit, as my particular age-group is so fond of doing with anything remotely melancholy or depressing, and rightfully so in numerous instances as so many of my particular age-group feel the need to embrace such ridiculously popular motifs as depression and sadness, and instill their own lives with false, fabricated angst.

But, let's examine the word angst, shall we? Because, in my short life thus far, I've noticed that America likes to take a word and use it relentlessly. I speak not of just the media, but of the populace itself. In this case, teenagers, my generation, and the constant desire to write everything off as angsty bullshit.

But, do you know what the word "angst" means? What do you think of when you hear the word "angst"? Does it conjure up images of over-privileged suburban white kids imitating their favorite, simplistic pop-punk bands? Writing terrible lyrics and bad poetry about how awful their life is because mommy and daddy wouldn't buy them a new video game system? Not what "angst" means.

Okay, then, how about the image of yet another over-privileged suburban white kid, but this one happens to be a blogger? Someone who rambles on and on with pretentious bullshit, pretending life is horrible? Someone starving for more and more attention, not for lack of, but because they enjoy it? An attention-whore, if you will? Yet again, not what "angst" means.

Webster's definition of "angst" is simple and direct: anxiety. And anxiety, for those unsure, is a "disturbance of mind regarding some uncertain event". In a word, worry. In that regard, and no other, this is a web log post rife with angst for what the future holds; rampant with anxiety over what is going to happen to me; permeated with ubiquitous worry.


Of course, I might just be pulling bullshit, and an extensive vocabulary, out of my ass in an attempt to ward off boredom. Either way, I've put time into organizing my thoughts, somewhat, so as to share them. It is currently 3:17 as I type these words.

Oh, look, a blue moon...

Hey, so, my brother [younger] is moving back here to live with us. Us being me, my mother, my baby sister, and my step father when he's home. So, anyone lookin' for a roommate? Mr. Grape? Ashy? Y'all are the only two I know of who read this thing. (>_>)

Finally time to rob me a bank! Get that green, yo!

I'm in a frantic mood, don't ask.

Holy shit, Rainbow Family Podcast! Ashy, you should totally be listening to this. And anyone else who looks at this thing but doesn't have anything to say, you should, too.

Ugh, I want to work on music. The rest o' my family needs to go out and eat or something, gimme my alone time.

FUCK.

And that's all I have to say.

Double-you Tee Eff.

So, as I was walking home from work today, I stopped in the local high school football field. I looked around me, at the homes, at the lady jogging, at the kids playing at Craig park. I looked above me, at the trees, at the clouds, at the blue sky, at the sun. And in the few minutes this took me, I was thinking... wow, I'm insignificant and small. All but a handful of people would be completely ignorant of my death if I were to die in my sleep tonight. And it's the same for most people, people who'll die while I'm sleeping tonight and I have no idea. Man truly is a small creature when compared to the planet we inhabit and the number of species which dot it's various environments.

I resumed my trek homeward... and another thought struck me...

What the fuck was all that angsty, pretentious bullshit doing in my head?

Everyone together now!

My kitten's sleeping in my lap as I type this. She's so damned adorable!

Here she is!

And, because I never got around to posting them before.

Picciture
'Nother picciture
Interested

Oh, today's off to a good start.

I fell down in the shower this morning and bent the shit out o' the curtain rod. (-_-)

It's the weirdest fuckin' thing

To start with, I realize the only things I seem to post are negative in nature, but, the only times I have something worth blogging about, it's bad. I've been working on it, though, and I've just plain not made posts because I don't want all... well, the two of you to think I'm some whiny bitch who complains about his life constantly. But, I realized something mere minutes ago that I just felt like sharing, so, bear with me.


I made it through work today without anything going wrong. I mean, nothing. It was perfect, and beautiful. By all ways of looking at it, it's been a good day. Hell, I even finally got my new glasses, since my other pair broke last Saturday.

But, despite that, I'm not happy. And I started thinking... I'm rarely ever happy anymore. I mean, it's not often that I'm particularly unhappy, I'm just not happy. Hell, I'm not even content. I just kind of... am.

But, alas, there's not much I can do. Hold and love my kitten, at this very moment. Play my vidgames, work on my songs when I can, and keep livin'. Maybe by dumb chance I'll stumble across something that'll make me happy again.

Emo.

EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO-EMO
Someone save me from myself?

So who can explain this to me?

You ever have somebody think something about you that you don't understand? And I mean just about everybody. Allow me to elaborate...

So, all through high school everyone thought I was some kind o' bad ass, a nutcase who might flip and shoot up the school at any moment, or both. Don't ask me why, I'm not sure. Let's examine the first one... me being a bad ass. Now, of the two things we're discussing, this is the one I can almost comprehend.

But, I'm not.

It's as simple as that. I'm not, I don't go out of my way looking for fights, hell, I haven't been in a fight since the sixth grade [which I lost, by the way]. But no one would mess with me because they all thought I would kick their ass. WHY?! I mean, no complaints, it kept bullies off my back. Sure, people would make fun of me, but if I heard them they'd go the other way. Now, as I said, I can almost understand this. But, the reasoning seems nonsensical to me. The closest I can figure is that I'm intimidating for some reason [which, as far as I can tell, is true, as a friend of mine told me straight up that I scared her (-_-)]. I don't know why, I look like a faget, what's intimidating about that? I'm gonna run up and fuck 'em in the ass through their jeans? Oh noes, run! Another thing, which is probably helpful with the whole intimidation stuff, since the seventh grade I've been bigger than just about everyone. But, again, I still don't quite get how all that makes me "scary". I'm not! And as far as I can tell it must have started sometime in the 6th or 7th grade, cause I had a habit of not doing stupid shit and not keeping my mouth shut when teachers tried to feed me bullshit. So, I had a lot of detentions and a looooot of time spent in the ISS room [In-School Suspension].

Then, there's the other thing, the belief that I'm a loose cannon and crazy. Again, I'm not. It's illogical to run up in the school shooting everyone cause some pussy-ass motherfuckers made fun of my earrings. It's just plain not good thinkin'. But this one is the most bizarre, because, it must be something about my mannerisms. Further explanation: all through the better part of middle school and high school people thought this about me. Obviously, once it started it just went on each year because it was the same people with the same idea telling anyone else who didn't know me. Fine, so, after I dropped out of high school and started working at the movie theatre, I never really thought about it again. But, I found out recently that the people at work were worried I was gonna get fired cause I was gonna yell at my boss. (o.O) Why? Because they thought he was gonna yell at me, and figured me to be the type o' cat not to take that and yell back at me. Why? I mean, obviously, it's not on the same level as me coming in and shooting up the school, but, it's still pretty damned illogical. That's a sure way to get your ass fired, yellin' at the boss. It's known as insubordination, and I should know, I got written up for it a lot in middle school. So why do they think I'm crazy enough to yell at my boss? As I said, it has got to be something in my mannerisms, or possibly my appearance, because everyone I work with is already in college, or beyond college, so they didn't know me in high school. So, what the hell? What is it about me that is so damned scary?

I dunno I'm just rambling.


-Sixty X Celph

Testing-ting... gods damned echo.

FUUUUUUUUCK. How's that sound?


-Sixty X Celph